Amazingness

Clapham Road, London, SW9

Thump! Thud! Thump! All around me spiky seed pods fall fast from the wind-tossed branches above; most of them disgorge their gleaming, beaming insides on impact with the ground.

Luckily the wind dies down. I examine this lustrous, semi-disgorged inside – this beautiful conker – its smooth surface radiant under the glow of fresh autumn sunshine.

One-third remains cozy inside its protective jacket; full emergence is a tantalising possibility. I specify one-third, because today I discovered that a horse-chestnut seed pod splits along three seams and breaks apart into three symmetrical pieces to release its seed – not into two pieces as I had previously imagined.

I found so many gorgeous glistening glossy conkers today. I thought about playing conkers. And then I discovered that there is a World Conker Championship and that I could enter. In fact, anyone can enter, there are still places left. It takes place in two weeks time in Northamtonshire. All competition conkers are provided by the organisers to make sure there is no cheating by using artificially hardened ones – so all you need to arrive with is a competition outfit…!

In other World Conker Championship news: for the first time this year men and women compete against each other! Why they were ever segregated into separate men’s and women’s competitions I have no idea.

And finally, if you were in Leeds or Manchester last week you would have been able to pay for your car parking with conkers! One intact conker could be exchanged for 20 pence worth of parking, up to a maximum of £10. All collected conkers were then donated to a local nature reserve. Hopefully they hadn’t been collected from there in the first place!